Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Emotional Affair vs. Friendship

Which is worse? A physical affair or an emotional affair? Do you know the difference? A physical affair is mainly a physical thing. You had sex and now you can really walk away and it meant nothing (well it meant something but this type of affair is easy for men to partake in). An emotional affair is when your heart and mind gets involved. It's dangerous because once the mind is gone - the body will follow. Many times people who haven't had sex with their 'so called friend' doesn't realized just how connected to this 'friend' they have become. Below are some major differences between what a "Friend" vs. the components of "An Emotional Affair" really is.

Friendship:

1. You love your friend and you can do anything for him, but one thing you cannot do.. you cannot imagine having sex with him. At the very least, if you close your eyes and imagine having sex with your friend...you don't get turned on. (Okay some friends are good looking and you CAN imagine having sex with him... but you just don't).
2. You don't share details of your relationship especially its troubles to your significant friend. Those are just for the same-sex support group.
3. You look forward to catch up with your friend socially, but you don't keep wanting to see him when you're with your partner.
4. Your partner knows about your friend, also knows when you are actually catching up with your friend.
5. Your partner supports your friendship with your friend.
6. You don't daydream and fantasize about your friend a lot.
7. You don't tend to hide your not-so-good side from your friend.
8. There are more things that your partner knows that your friend doesn't know of.
9. You don't think twice to set your friend up with someone, and you feel happy when you see your friend go on dates.
10. You smile when you think about your friend getting married.

Emotional Affair:
1. There is some sort of chemistry attraction developed - even subconsciously. You wonder how it is to kiss your friend or to touch him. You imagine having sex with him.
2. You share details of your relationship to your friend. In fact, you love sharing your trouble and you love it when your friend listens to you so well.
3. You look forward to catch up with your friend even when you are with your partner. You think of your friend some when in the middle of your supposedly romantic night with your partner.
4. Your friend's name come up way too often in conversations.
5. You hide some information about your friendship from your partner. You lie when asked for information on how you two spent your time together.
6. You find yourself saying the magic phrase 'But we are just friends' on many occasions.
7. Your friend knows more intimate things about you compared to your partner.
8. You day dream about your friend a lot.
9. Your partner is unsupportive of your friendship. Somehow this friend of yours bother your partner.
10. You are jealous towards your friend's date. You secretly hope he will stay together with you rather than finding her true love.

We are all subject to emotional affair, and knowing your vulnerability against it is actually a good thing.
Attraction is not a choice, cheating is definitely a choice. If you find yourself starting to get trapped into the emotional affair world. Make considerable effort to get out of it.

3 comments:

ToshaDevon said...

Hey WIFE...good topic...I think that Emotional Affairs are much worse than physical affairs...I mean you are actually giving your heart away to that other person, therefore you cannot be totally vested in your current relationship...physical affairs are generally for immediate gratification...emotional affairs can leave lingering thoughts, and generally last longer. This is a great topic...I hope a man responds!!!

hazel said...

Many times people who haven't had sex with their 'so called friend' doesn't realized just how connected to this 'friend' they have become.
more details on affairs

Rowan said...

I absolutely love two people whole-heartedly. One I have chosen to love by being married to, the other I have chosen to love by letting them find someone else to love them for me.

When all of 4 us go out together, my heart feels complete bliss.

Because I love both of them, I want both of my loves to be happy forever, but there is no law that says I must be the source for both.

Hoping for polyamory at some point where everyone can accept that I want to make and be happy with all of them. Until then, the occasional email from my other love telling me they are happy, suffices.